”In the new movie Wild Things, actress Neve Campbell takes part in a group sex scene. Apparently, it’s the best Party of Five ever.” CONAN O’BRIEN on Late Night

”Like a ‘before’ picture in a geek-remover ad.” JOEY (KATIE HOLMES), after Pacey (Joshua Jackson) asks her how he looks, on Dawson’s Creek

”Clinton said he chose to vacation in Utah because he always finds it soothes the soul to visit the last state in the Union to outlaw polygamy.” DENNIS MILLER on Dennis Miller Live

”Most media analysts agree closed captioning for the Jerry Springer show is a ridiculous idea — because it implies his viewers can read.” CRAIG KILBORN on The Daily Show