We award the best album cover, the aging gracefully award, and more

By David Browne
Updated December 26, 1997 at 05:00 AM EST

Best Techno Cash-In
— The Saint soundtrack (Orbital, Moby, Sneaker Pimps, etc.) sparked our hard drives.

Worst Techno Cash-In
— Hal (Featuring Gillian Anderson)’s ”Extremis” — the blecch files

Saddest Cash-In, Any Genre
— Pat Boone’s desperate ”metal” album, No More Mr. Nice Guy

Best Videos
— ”Wail,” by Jon Spencer Blues Explosion; ”The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly),” by Missy Elliott; ”Karma Police,” by Radiohead; ”Champagne,” by Chris Rock; ”Smack My Bitch Up,” by Prodigy

Worst Video
— The 30-minute ”Midnight in Chelsea,” by Jon Bon Jovi, which was approximately 27 minutes too long

Creepiest Video
— ”Criminal,” by Fiona Apple

Best Softcore Pop
Sex-O-Rama: Music From Classic Adult Films and Janet Jackson’s The Velvet Rope — a tie (pun intended)

Aging Gracefully Award
— Bowie turns 50; Stones keep rolling; McCartney is knighted

Aging Not So Gracefully Award
— George Harrison, for his crotchety rant against U2, the Spice Girls, and other post-Fab sprouts

Best Live Album, Funeral Division
— The complete recording of Princess Di’s memorial became available for those looking to use excerpts of Earl Spencer’s scathing eulogy on their answering machines.

Hello/Goodbye Award
— Oasis

Guns N’ Roses Use Your Illusion Award for Double CD Most in Need of Editing
— Wu-Tang Clan, Wu-Tang Forever

Worst Album Title
— Foo Fighters’ The Colour and the Shape — final proof that grunge is dead

Tempting-Fate Award, Flop-Albums Division
Album of the Year, Faith No More; The Beauty Process: Triple Platinum, L7

Truth-in-Packaging Award
Return of the One-Hit Wonder, Young MC

Garth Brooks Commemorative Fake-Humility Award
— John Mellencamp for titling his greatest-hits set The Best That I Could Do

Titles So Good We Didn’t Need to Hear the Song
— ”Gangstas Need Love,” Master P; ”Satan Rejected My Soul,” Morrissey

Most Promising Newcomers
— Jonathan Fire*Eater; Belle and Sebastian; Beth Orton; Alana Davis

Our Worst Nightmare for the New Year
— ”Puffy, the Magic Dragon,” Puff Daddy, featuring a sample from Peter, Paul and Mary