TV's funniest lines from the week of Dec. 12

”Sexual harassment is no joke, sweetcans.”
JOE (JOE ROGAN), to Lisa (Maura Tierney), on NewsRadio

”I can’t even fit that many people in my car.”
JON STEWART, discussing the McCaughey septuplets, on Late Show With David Letterman

”Michael Jackson’s wife, Debbie Rowe, says she’s not threatened by other women in Michael’s life. She said, ‘What I am threatened by is Hanson.”’
CONAN O’BRIEN on Late Night

”The nanny Louise Woodward…is working in the office of her lawyer, Barry Scheck. The way it works is, he holds the clients by the ankles, and she shakes the money out of their pockets.”
JAY LENO on The Tonight Show