”Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche are talking about having a baby. They’re worried, though, because if the baby is anything like Ellen, it’s going to take much longer than nine months to come out.”
Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”People don’t just bump into each other and have sex. This isn’t Cinemax.”
Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld) to Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), after her night with an ex-boyfriend, on Seinfeld

”Jenny McCarthy is sporting a 3.5-carat sapphire ring from her boyfriend. Now she gets asked, ‘Is it real?’ As opposed to the usual ‘Are they real?”’
Chris Spencer on Vibe

”Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver will raise their newborn themselves, because, after all, the baby is male and a Kennedy. So there’s no way they can leave him alone with a babysitter.”
Craig Kilborn on The Daily Show

Late Night With Conan O'Brien
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