TV's funniest lines from September 26 to October 2, 1997

”I could’ve eaten a box of Alpha-Bits and crapped a better interview.”
FRANK (PETER BOYLE), after Ray (Ray Romano) bombs on a talk show, on Everybody Loves Raymond

”How long am I going to be this persona au gratin?”
BAILEY (SCOTT WOLF) to Sarah (Jennifer Love Hewitt), after her dad forbids her to see him, on Party of Five

”I don’t trust you — you’re a vampire. Oh, I’m sorry, is that an offensive term? Should I call you an ‘undead American’?”
BUFFY (SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR) to Angel (David Boreanaz) on Buffy the Vampire Slayer

”Prince appeared on the Muppets last week. In honor of his appearance, Kermit the Frog is changing his name to The Amphibian Formerly Known as Tadpole. And Miss Piggy wants to be called The Other White Meat.”