We do the math and tell you how many times the actor refers to himself as ''Fertile-Man,'' how many chapters are three pages or shorter, and more

Paul Reiser has babies on the brain. First, the comedian became a father two years ago (courtesy of wife Paula and their son, Ezra). Then his Mad About You character became a dad last May. No wonder Reiser spent his summer hiatus cranking out babyhood. Here’s a numerical summary.

Number of mentions of ”pooping up”: 2
Number of categories of baby-created moisture: 4
Amount of weight a woman who gained 40-45 pounds during pregnancy should admit to gaining, according to Reiser: 30 pounds
Number of times he refers to himself as ”Fertile-Man”: 2
Number of chapter titles featuring the word elephant (Reiser’s euphemism for sex): 3
Number of chapters that are three pages or shorter: 10