Portrait: The Music of Dan Fogelberg From 1972-1997

Bosnia (News wire): Unconfirmed reports from this war-torn nation claim Serbian forces are experimenting with a new tool of interrogation — a four-disc retrospective of the eternally sensitive, once-hirsute Colorado troubadour Dan Fogelberg, Portrait: The Music of Dan Fogelberg From 1972-1997. ”They put on the second disc, called Ballads, with 17 straight sugarcoated laments, and the prisoners crack every time,” claimed a well-placed source. The source added that while some POWs ”enjoy parts” of the hit-laden first disc and random tracks like ”Illinois” (”pleasant cribs from Jackson Browne and CS&N,” he said), all agreed that four discs were far too much for anyone except loyalists. ”All those angry breakup tunes and fussy ‘rock’ songs,” scoffed one soldier. ”He should stick to things like that one about New Year’s Eve. I met an old lover in the grocery store once too.” C-