The perfect party tape for New Year's 2000

Fade in: A TV soundstage packed with grim-faced, flannel-clad dancers. An elfin man enters, smiling: ”Hi, I’m the Artist. Prince — remember? Once upon a time, I commanded you to party like it’s 1999. And guess what? That time’s almost here!” [Enter female extras, who caress his torso and legs.] ”What better way to celebrate the new millennium than Century Rock! That’s right — your fave hits about the end of the 20th century, collected on one emancipating album!”

Okay, so this ad doesn’t exist — but it should. The close of the 20th century has figured into enough songs to fill an album. To prepare for that New Year’s Eve 2000 bash, make a tape of these tunes — and, well, party like it’s no longer 1999.

PRINCE: ”1999” (”Sky was all purple, there were people runnin’ everywhere/Trying to run from my destruction/You know, I didn’t even care”)

PAUL WESTERBERG: ”Century” (”The millennium has come at last/My one-horse town is made of glass…. My century is turning”)

STEVE GOODMAN: ”The 20th Century Is Almost Over” (”Has anyone seen my linoleum floors/Petroleum jelly and two World Wars?”)

SUPERIOR: ”Polaroid Millennium,” from The Saint soundtrack (”The rising starts right here/The future’s always near”)

RAMONES: ”Do You Remember Rock ‘n’ Roll Radio?” (”It’s the end, the end of the ’70s/It’s the end, the end of the century”)

ROLLING STONES: ”2000 Man” (”I am having an affair with a random computer…. Don’t you know I’m a 2000 man”)

R.E.M.: ”Electrolite” (”20th century, go to sleep”)

WILCO: ”I Got You (At the End of the Century)” (”It’s the end of the century/I can’t think of anything/Except you”)

STRAUSS: ”Also Sprach Zarathustra” (the 2001: A Space Odyssey version, naturally)

UNLISTED BONUS TRACK: Zager & Evans: ”In the Year 2525” (”If man is still alive/If woman can survive”)