TV's funniest lines from May 17 to May 23

”I thought of a pun on the way over: emission accomplished.” MEDAVOY (Gordon Clapp), delivering his sperm to inseminate Abby (Paige Turco) on NYPD Blue

”Rick Pitino will be moving from Kentucky, where they date their cousins, to New England, where they date their babysitters.” CRAIG KILBORN, discussing the Boston Celtics’ new coach, on The Daily Show

”Michael Jackson’s business partner has bought part of TWA, and now he says he’s going to have Michael redesign some of the planes. Michael says he wants the planes to be all white with smaller noses.” CONAN O’BRIEN on Late Night