TV's funniest lines from May 9 to May 16

”It’s nice coming from a minister. That’s the Lord’s work — name-calling.” —Ellen DeGeneres, responding to Jerry Falwell calling her ”Ellen DeGenerate,” on Oprah

”I’m in a very charitable mood this morning. I think I’ll get in the car, go down to the Lincoln Tunnel, and give a couple of transsexuals a ride home to the East Village.” —anchor Jim Ryan, a few minutes after delivering the latest news about Eddie Murphy, on Good Day New York

”The New York Police Department wants to use high school yearbooks to help identify teenage criminals. Meanwhile, Jerry Seinfeld wants to use high school yearbooks to find a new girlfriend.” —Conan O’Brien on Late Night