As a Buddhist detective in beads and Nehru jackets, Seagal shamelessly shakes up his usual scowly image. Wayans, meanwhile, gets to play both straight man and comic relief, as a street-smart cop who scoffs at his New Age partner yet cries during Casablanca. Despite such wacky buddy-cop behavior, Glimmer Man gets pretty grim, with a serial killer who crucifies his victims, Russian mobsters dealing chemical weapons, and rogue CIA agents lurking in the shadows. Refusing to pull these plotlines together, the movie remains so muddled that you almost don’t notice how preposterous it is. Not that it matters. This action orgy exists solely for its bone-crunching stunts — including what must be a record for spectacular defenestrations. You’d be sorry if you bought a movie ticket to watch this deep-fried junk food, though on video it’s a palatable cheap thrill.