The funniest TV lines from the week of Feb. 7, 1997

”Siskel or Ebert?” Mulder (David Duchovny), upon finding a severed thumb, on The X-Files

”That’s Wesley Douglas. What a catch — he’s continent.” Stella (Rose Marie), lusting after a fellow nursing-home patient, on Caroline in the City

”I spend my days here at CBS wandering the halls hoping to be touched by an angel.” Jon Stewart, subbing for Tom Snyder, on The Late Late Show

”The minister at the inauguration accidentally called Hillary Rodham Clinton, ‘Hillary Rodman Clinton.’ The First Lady laughed about it and then kicked him in the groin.” Conan O’Brien on Late Night