Pinocchio's Revenge

It may be wrong to use age-old children’s favorites as slasher-movie villains, but hey, they’re public domain. Pinocchio’s Revenge takes the high road as an eerie psychological thriller, allowing the filmmakers to skimp on special effects by not showing if it’s a cute puppet or a disturbed child committing murders. Unfortunately, the script plays it cagey right down to the meaningless ending. Rumpelstiltskin, however, wastes no time in becoming a proper monster movie, as the legendary creep spends most of the film chasing after a modern-day mom (Ulrich) who owes him a kid. Armed with a fun if sick premise, the movie augments its old-fashioned gore with an early-’80s fixation (The A-Team, The Fall Guy, and A Flock of Seagulls all play a part), an unlikely hero in a sleazy daytime talk host (Tommy Blaze), and Grodenchik bringing real personality to the title character’s leering lines. Pinocchio’s Revenge: C-
Rumpelstiltskin: B