What the country is talking about this week...

By Jim Mullen
Updated October 20, 1995 at 04:00 AM EDT

1. Elizabeth Hurley: She’s thinking of moving to Ireland to avoid the press. Don’t tell any reporters!

2. Andy Rooney: He’s offering a million dollars for information leading to the conviction of Nicole Brown’s killer. How much for Bigfoot?

3. The Scarlet Letter: Demi Moore’s branded a Puritan tramp. That’s what you get for appearing nude on the cover of Pilgrim Monthly.

4. Oprah: To make millions a year or not? ”Why me? Why do I have to make all the tough decisions?”

5. Selena Trial: The accused claims she mistakenly shot the singer in a suicide try. It’s known as ”The dog ate my defense.”

6. Prince Charles: He wins the profits from his housekeeper’s book. She works, he gets the money. They must be married.

7. Loni Anderson: Her book tells all about life with Burt. Maybe they should open a dry-cleaning chain.

8. The O.J. Verdict: Whoops! The Rodney King cops were supposed to get this jury.

9. Colin Powell: He might be related to Princess Di. His class must come from the other side of the family.

10. Robert De Niro: He was charged with assaulting a cameraman. Can you believe they set a menace like that free?

11. Roxanne: The first time a storm has reached the letter R. Let’s cut down a few more rain forests and see if we can get to Z.

12. Jade: David Caruso left NYPD Blue for this? Who’s his career adviser, Rob Morrow?

13. Mary Tyler Moore: She plays an editor who’s tough and hard-bitten. Please, at real papers, that’s the receptionist.

14. Cleveland: With the Indians and the Hall of Fame, it’s no longer the ”Mistake by the Lake.” Still, Aaron Spelling has yet to base a show there.

15. Milton Berle’s workout video: If looking like him’s an improvement, you are in bad shape.