Humor to spare
Pinning down Drew Carey
”You and me?” grins Drew Carey, lacing up his shoes in a Studio City bowling alley. ”You want to take on the king?” With his squared-off buzz cut, horn-rimmed glasses, and orange polyester shirt, the 37-year-old star of The Drew Carey Show looks more like a court jester. He certainly handles our questions like one, riffing on topics ranging from Friends to Jim Carrey. His game, however, proves regal enough, wiping his challenger off the alley, 149 to 81.
EW: Since your series is the working-class answer to Friends, what would happen if you guest-starred as the seventh Friend?
Drew Carey: They’d kick me out of their group, just like the monkey. ”We’re sorry, Drew, you’re not good-looking enough to hang around with us, and you’re scaring away the girls. So we’d appreciate it if you’d get the hell outta here.”
EW: Let’s say your series goes top 10. How do you want your first tabloid headlines to read?
DC: Drew Carey Caught in Love Triangle with Playboy Bunny and Penthouse Pet. Or Drew Carey Tells Off Bum on Way to Denny’s.
EW: Having struggled as a stand-up for nine years, how did you spend your first paycheck from this show?
DC: I want to keep my roots in Cleveland, so I bought my parents’ house [for $60,000].
EW: Tell us about your childhood in five words or less.
DC: Weirdo. Weirdo. Underachiever. Weirdo. Weirdo.
EW: What was it like being one of the only stand-up comedians asked by Johnny Carson to sit on the couch during your first appearance?
DC: It was being anointed a knight, like walking into show business with the red carpet. But then you think, Wow, this is really s — tty furniture. How does it look so good on TV?
EW: You’ve got the same last name, and you’re both known as the Human Cartoon. If Dumb and Dumber had starred Drew Carey instead of Jim Carrey, how would it have gone?
DC: Straight to video.
EW: Your choice — hot date with a supermodel or football with the guys?
DC: Define hot date. If I’m sure there’s going to be some wild sex with the model, okay, but if it’s just dinner and talk, then football with the guys.
EW: You seem like a guy who hides nothing. So what are you hiding?
DC: The other day I was out buying a Playboy and I thought, What if somebody sees me? Then I thought, Who cares if they see me? I’m single and buying Playboy. So shut up and quit looking at me.