Jim Mullen's Hot Sheet
What the country is talking about this week ...
1 SEN. BOB PACKWOOD He says he was so drunk, he can’t remember if some of the charges against him are true. Thank God he’s got a job any drunk can do.
2 JFK JR. If the world’s most eligible man weds, do all the others move up a notch?
3 MTV VIDEO AWARDS A year’s worth of haircuts and body-piercing ideas in three short hours.
4 CENTRAL PARK WEST If this is a hit, we can look forward to shows like Marin County, Vail, and Most of Connecticut.
5 TO WONG FOO Patrick Swayze and Wesley Snipes as drag queens. It’s one thing to have 5 o’clock shadow, but on your legs?
6 NATIONAL LAMPOON’S SENIOR TRIP A gang of illiterate goofballs go to Washington, D.C., to meet the President. Don’t laugh, you elected them.
7 THE EMMYS What did it take to keep them from calling it the ”Me Me” Awards?
8 TED TURNER When Time Warner offered him $8.5 billion, he was speechless. He kept talking — he just didn’t have a speech.
9 KILLER INSTINCT At $75, the fastest-selling Nintendo game ever. And it keeps the kids away from that disgusting stuff on the Net.
10 JOHN WAYNE BOBBITT He owes thousands in overdue child support. Seems everything works but him.
11 TALK-SHOW MANIA There’ll be at least seven new ones. Maybe now we’ll start hearing something about that O.J. trial.
12 CHARLIE SHEEN What would be the perfect present for the newlyweds? May we suggest something in a maid’s uniform?
13 THE WOMEN’S CONFERENCE IN BEIJING It’s like holding a Good Weather Convention in England. In February.
14 BOSNIA If we’re lucky, NATO will bomb the Serbs up to the Stone Age.
15 THE LIZ & LARRY SPLIT And they had so much in common — a love of fried dough and jewelry, a hatred of exercise, no visible means of support.
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar