By EW Staff
Updated April 07, 1995 at 04:00 AM EDT

”Michael Jordan has returned, and here are last night’s statistics…McDonald’s up three quarters, Nike up one eighth.” — Conan O’Brien on Late Night

”My brother is too kind. He was eminent when my eminence was only imminent.” — Niles (David Hyde Pierce), after Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) introduced him as an eminent psychiatrist, on Frasier

”Someone educate me. What are Beavis and Butt-head?” — David Brinkley on This Week

”[Red] is one of those ‘important’ films — which means it’s boring, and you see it in a theater full of people with B.O., and you pretend that you get it.” — Tom Servo (Kevin Murphy) on The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Little Gold Statue Preview Special