UNIFORMITY: NYPD Blue fans holding out for that surprise visit from Det. John Kelly (David Caruso) can forget it. Finding the Irish cop back in the station is about as likely as finding Sipowicz (Dennis Franz) on the take from the Mob. ”I don’t think the people behind NYPD Blue would be open to me returning even for a couple of episodes,” says Caruso, who’ll play an ex-convict in Kiss of Death, due out in April. ”They’ve moved on.” Caruso, who left the show over contract disputes last fall, now says he would have liked Blue to be a revolving door where characters could come and go. ”I wasn’t interested in abandoning the character or the show. I’m really proud I was able to embody a police officer with NYPD Blue. I believe in the cop that John Kelly was.” — Cindy Pearlman
STARSTUCK: It’s not easy getting to the top — especially when you’re stuck in an elevator. Hitting Toronto recently for a broadcast of Intimate & Interactive (roughly, Canada’s version of MTV Unplugged), Annie Lennox and her band were making their way to a fifth-floor postshow party when the lift stopped dead. The diva, whose Medusa album recently debuted at No. 11 on the charts, kept her head. Of course, it helped that friends slipped bottles of Perrier and wine through a hole in the elevator panel while the group waited — for an hour — to be released. ”They were singing gospel songs at the top of their lungs,” says a captain with the Toronto Fire Department. ”They seemed to be in good spirits.” — Angela Baldassarre
PAIR OF JOKERS: Jerry Lewis-esque Jim Carrey should listen up. The original Jerry Lewis has some advice: From one rubber-faced comedian to another, stay out of the bathroom. Lewis, currently starring in Broadway’s Damn Yankees and the black comedy Funny Bones, describes Carrey as ”the best visual comic to come down the pike in years” but has reservations about the scatological humor in Dumb and Dumber. ”If I were Carrey’s manager, I would have said, ‘Jesus Christ, didn’t somebody read this? All those toilet jokes? What is this?’ If Carrey would like a shortcut to career suicide, get dirty, get sleazy. His longevity will be cut by 20 years.” Though the alter egos have never met, Lewis has already envisioned how a movie matchup with Carrey would work. ”It’s a father-son deal,” Lewis quips. ”Naturally, I’m going to play the son.” — Jeffrey Wells
QUICK CHANGE ARTIST: The time: the middle of the day. The place: a midtown Manhattan bus stop. The scene: Oscar winner Al Pacino, fresh from filming City Hall in New York City, doesn’t have the required exact change for the fare. To the rescue: a local woman. ”This short and not-that-good-looking guy, who I thought was a tourist, asked me if I had change for a dollar,” says the bystander. ”I gave him five quarters, but he gave one back because he already had one.” When did she realize she was talking to Pacino? ”There was no mistaking it once he smiled,” she says. ”He had the most gorgeous smile, but his skin is very rough. He has wrinkles and very big pores and definitely needs an eye-lift.” Who says New Yorkers aren’t helpful?