By EW Staff
Updated April 07, 1995 at 04:00 AM EDT

”Being able to type naked covered in edible oil is a freedom that only cyberspace can give me! Ow! I feel good!” — ER’s Anthony Edwards on America Online

”Being in the movies is the most boring thing in the world… I’d rather have a heart attack than a chance to be in a movie.” — Jackie Mason on Prodigy

”The only people that have to be upset about O.J. Simpson must be the Florida citrus growers. They would pay him any money if he would just change his name to Snapple Simpson.” — Paul Rodriguez on Prodigy

”Being really ugly at the beginning of my career was a big help… Once I got [audiences] under control, I could get myself fixed. My vet ran a special: My cat, my dog and myself got fixed!” — Phyllis Diller on America Online