By A.J. Jacobs
Updated March 17, 1995 at 05:00 AM EST

Forget John Smith and Jane Doe. If you’re a fan-shy star checking into a hotel these days, you need a more creative alias. As a guide, allow us to name some bona fide celebrity noms de room. Celeb: Grunge actor Johnny Depp (right). Alias: Mr. Donkey Penis-he reportedly likes the way it sounds on the wake-up call.

Celeb: Industrial rocker Trent Reznor of the band Nine Inch Nails. Alias: Randolph Mantooth-a star of the ’70s paramedic drama Emergency.

Celeb: Blondie crooner Deborah Harry. Alias: Fu Manchu-she’s apparently a fan of the 1932 Boris Karloff movie The Mask of Fu Manchu.

Celeb: VH1 poster girl Sheryl Crow (right). Alias: Laura Petrie-Mary Tyler Moore’s character on The Dick Van Dyke Show.

Celeb: Power balladeer Richard Marx. Alias: Clint Reno-the name of the cowboy that Elvis Presley played in Love Me Tender, his first movie. (Marx uses the name of a different Elvis movie character on every tour.)

Celeb: Comedian-turned-Homicide actor Richard Belzer. Alias: Don Corleone- Marlon Brando’s character in The Godfather, Belzer’s favorite movie.

Celeb: Cross-dressing TV legend Milton Berle (right). Alias: Elreb Notlim- check it out backwards.

Celeb: Long-tongued, now-unmasked Kiss bassist Gene Simmons. Alias: Barbara Walters-”I always wanted her salary,” Simmons explains.