The Soap Box

By Alan Carter
Updated March 10, 1995 at 05:00 AM EST

To the writers of Days of Our Lives: Congratulations! You’ve managed to wrest away the title Dumbest Soap Plot Ever from One Life to Live, which gave us the ludicrous underground city Eterna back in the mid-’80s. Your possession of Marlena (Deidre Hall) by the Devil makes the Eterna debacle look like Citizen Kane. In episodes jeered by fans and critics alike, Marlena has levitated over her bed, choked a priest, burned a church, and caused a chandelier to fall on a couple getting married. Though Hall’s yellow contact lenses are inspired, the story’s a silly, mind-numbing mess. The cast (particularly Drake Hogestyn as the priest John Black) deserves credit for keeping straight faces when spouting such lines as, ”I know, the desecrator is here for me!” At least your Exorcist rip-offs haven’t included pea-soup spewings…yet.