Looking back at early EW video reviews

By EW Staff
Updated February 24, 1995 at 05:00 AM EST

Guest Critics
Julia Phillips on Oscar’s Greatest Moments: ”Jack Nicholson appears in more reaction shots than any other Oscar attendee. We see Jack young, Jack middle- aged, Jack hunky, Jack fat, Jack pale, Jack tan, Jack without — or more often, with — sunglasses, Jack accepting, and always, always Jack smiling. Is there nothing that can bring this man down?” (1992)

Timothy Leary on Acidburn Flashback Tabu: ”Designed to produce altered states, hypnotic trance experiences. As you can see, it worked for me.” (1994)

Romano Mussolini, Benito’s son, on Swing Kids: ”[Enjoying jazz] was harder for young people in Germany [during WWII], where they had a much stricter man in charge.” (1993)

You Don’t Say
Brinke Stevens, scream queen, on her typical roles: ”I usually start out normal and pretty, and about halfway through I get possessed, go insane, or turn into a vampire.” (1992)

Don ”The Dragon” Wilson, martial-arts video giant, on rival Jean-Claude Van Damme: ”He was a member of the Belgian national team. That’s like being part of the Bahamian football league.” (1994)

Ginger Lynn Allen, former porn star, on appearing in Skin Deep: ”Blake Edwards said he and his wife [Julie Andrews] enjoyed my work. Imagine! Mary Poppins liked my work.” (1994)

Matters of Opinion
On Strapless: ”Plays like a Pretty Woman for Mensa alumni — it’s pitched too high for human ears.” (1990)

On Sonja Henie: ”Popular as this tiny dynamo on blades was, she’s impossible to take now — a grinning, dimpled horror you’ll want to boot into the nearest snowbank.” (1991)

On Rapid Fire, starring Brandon Lee: ”The kickboxing equivalent of a Julian Lennon single.” (1993)

On Pet Sematary 2: ”This isn’t filmmaking, it’s film developing.” (1993)

On Hudson Hawk: ”Like most people, I didn’t catch Hudson Hawk in theaters, on the premise that you don’t have to actually see a freeway pileup to know it’s awful.” (1991)

On Mirror Images: ”Lead knockout [Delia] Sheppard struggles valiantly with her lines while modeling some of the teensiest outfits this side of Lilliput.” (1992)

On Housewife From Hell: ”[The] filmmakers couldn’t direct lemmings off a cliff.” (1994)

On Sorceress: ”There’s so much going on in Sorceress‘ pre-credit sequence that the rest of the film feels like Sorceress II.” (1994)