Housekeeping advice for the sex-deprived -- "More Time for Sex: The Organizing Guide for Busy Couples" is convinced that a clean home will lead to a busy bed

By Erica K. Cardozo
Updated February 10, 1995 at 05:00 AM EST

Unlike all those frolicking (and married) bunnies from last fall’s University of Chicago sex survey, the couples we know (at least the two who will discuss such things) admit that they don’t, well, do it as much as they would like. And what happens when these poor, frustrated souls seek guidance at a bookstore? Scores of self-help tomes deliver harsh messages like: ”You don’t communicate well with your partner,” ”You’re not acting sexy enough,” ”Wake up and smell the coffee, dummy, your spouse is having an affair.”

At last, just in time for Valentine’s Day, comes More Time for Sex: The Organizing Guide for Busy Couples, by Harriet Schecter and Vicki T. Gibbs, a sex-free sex book for the ’90s that dispenses with the armchair (make that queen-size bed) psychology and blames our horizontal deficiencies on something nice and external that our fragile egos can handle: our messy homes. It’s not her lack of lingerie, his mother complex, her flabby thighs, or some younger, firmer man or woman — we just need to organize our sock drawers better. It’s not what we’re doing in bed — it’s the mess on the bed that’s the problem. Forget about finding our G spots; we just need to be able to find our tax forms when we need them. If everything were in its proper place, this book reassuringly argues, we would be beyond bunnies. Heck, we would be fruit flies.

It’s all about ”growth-oriented systems” to free up hours for you-know-what. Sizzling tips include how to clip coupons, create a personalized filing system, control clutter, shop more efficiently, and take more accurate phone messages. The authors tell us how to clear a work space and, in the same chipper tone, a sex space: ”You’ll be amazed at what a difference just minor changes can make in how you feel in your bedroom and in your relationship with each other.” Yes, we would. Can this couple-that-sweeps-together-sleeps-together philosophy possibly work? Probably not, but at least that kitchen table we may never ”get busy” on will be spotless.