At War With Englund: The Star of 'New Nightmare' Interviews His Own Character
Getting even with that monstrously vain creation of mine, Freddy
After playing Freddy Krueger in six movies over the last decade, Robert Englund finally gets to star with him in Wes Craven’s New Nightmare. So, with an appropriate dose of identity confusion, we asked Englund to interview his alter ego (as Lois Alter Mark listened in).
Robert: It’s a bit disconcerting that you and I appear together in Wes Craven’s New Nightmare and that you have a great deal more screen time than I do. I was lured into doing the movie with the promise that it was a bit Robert Altmanesque, sort of literary like The Player, and then I basically spent one day working in Pasadena and was gone. How did you end up with a separate, starring role?
Freddy: Ha, ha, ha, ha! It’s my face, not yours — you wiry SOB — that’s on dorm walls. There’s no way in hell I’m sharing billing with you anymore. I’m the one kids want. Everyone knows Freddy. But Robert? Duh, you mean Redford? De Niro? Ha! You and your classical training crap — who gives a damn?
Robert: As much as I hate to admit it, you’ve actually been very good to me. What have I meant to you? How can you exist without me?
Freddy: Don’t give yourself so much credit, butt-head. Kill the creator! You and Wes — my ghostwriter, ha, ha! — gave me an inroad, and now I’m unbound. No more Elm Street for me. No more white-bread Dick-and-Jane suburbia. Freddy’s coming to Hollywood, babe, and I want the best table at Mortons!
Robert: In the movie, Heather Langenkamp says you’re scarier and more evil than I am. Do you think that’s true?
Freddy: You’re a puny runt. You think your dark side comes out when you’re driving on the freeway or when your wife tries to take the remote. Your dark side is off-white, you loser.
Robert: I’ve been portraying you — quite well, I like to think — for many years now. If we reversed roles, and you had to play me, what would you do?
Freddy: Why the hell would I want to be you? I’d have to stoop to your crummy little height and go pound the drums with those wimpy Iron John types in Marin. I’d have to wear that Ralph Lauren crap, with the loafers. I’d rather die.
Robert: Do you think perhaps you’ve taken Freddy a trifle too far? I mean, you are only a character.
Freddy: In your nightmares, Englund. And, hey, speaking of characters, try looking in the mirror, you stupid little moron. Or is that too frightening for little Robert? You’re the one who got hitched to a babe named Nancy — the same name as that bitch who got me in the first Nightmare. What do you think that means in your big-time fancy Freudian crap?
Robert: Can we leave my wife out of this, please?
Freddy: Sure, if you quit trying to steal my thunder. Wanna shake on it?