The Emmys, O.J., and 'Trial By Jury' are being talked about this week...

By Jim Mullen
Updated September 16, 1994 at 04:00 AM EDT

1 The Killer Elephant It’s too bad she got all that publicity. Now all NRA members will want one. 2 The Emmy Awards One reward for excellence in television. The other one is cancellation.

3 Trial By Jury A crime boss terrorizes a juror: He threatens to give Hard Copy her home address.

4 O.J. Month Three. The only surprise is that no station has hired Joey Buttafuoco or Tonya Harding as a commentator.

5 Cheerios and Wheaties General Mills is changing their formulas. Now everyone wants them with the ’78 Bordeaux.

6 James Carville and Mary Matalin Their ”he said, she said” book on the ’92 campaign. Don’t tell me the ending. I want to be surprised.

7 On Our Own Cloyingly cute orphans raise themselves. Just a guess, but did the parents gag to death?

8 McKenna City folk come to Chad Everett’s ranch to escape the living hell of too many fine restaurants and art museums.

9 Burt Reynolds’ Hernia He tried to lift his ego all by himself.

10 Denny Dillon Roseanne’s not happy she’ll star in the made-for-TV movie of her life. Her first choice was Kate Moss.

11 Cruise Ships Four hundred people got so sick on one, they couldn’t eat. The industry plans to start calling them ”Weight-Loss Getaway Bargains.”

12 Network For Sale Huge executive suites; lots of men’s rooms; close to fancy, expensive restaurants; no ideas.

13 Genevieve Bujold The first woman to command a Star Trek series. She does, however, have to wear a Hooters uniform.

14 The Boys Are Back Suzanne Pleshette and Hal Linden’s kids move home. A reason to buy the Door Club.

15 Dan Quayle He might run for President. Where will he find someone dumb enough to be his Vice President?