Some choice slacker tips on how to make it in the real world from author Dan Zevin's new humor book
It was 1991 when elder slacker Douglas Coupland posited, in the seminal all-grown-up-but-no-place-to-go Generation X, ”Could the situation be that we were all promised heaven in our lifetimes, and what we ended up with can’t help but suffer in comparison?” While the meaning of life may still elude Xers in 1994, these tips from Dan Zevin’s how-to-fake-it-in-the-Real-World Entry-Level Life offer rays of, if not hope, at least wit.
*On Careers vs. Jobs “A career is something you do for rent money; a job is something you do for the rest of the rent money.”
*On Landing a Job “Never wear a backwards baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire. Just as important as what you say during an interview is what your body is saying about you, so be sure to conceal any tattoos that say: ‘Work sucks, let’s party.'”
*On Finding a Mate “If you expect to find your ideal mate, you’ve got to get into circulation and start looking. But, as your smarmy ‘couple friends’ are happy to point out, you’re not going to find anyone until you stop looking. The obvious solution is to get out into circulation and start looking but ignore anyone who seems like your ideal mate.”
*On the Environment “Because your car can harm the environment, use it only when it hasn’t been stolen, towed or repossessed.”
*On Acquiring Material Wealth “It is unclear from historical documentation which war the Salvation Army fought, but it is apparent from their spoils that they won.”