TV viewer's little lies -- We list the common lies that TV audiences tell

By Erica Kornberg
Updated May 27, 1994 at 04:00 AM EDT

Now that Star Trek: The Next Generation has ended, isn’t it finally time to admit that you watched it? Or at least stop insisting that you watched it but you’re still not a Trekkie? (Or worse, that you watched it not for its cool special effects but for its symbolism?) While you’re at it, why not confess to these other lies, half-truths, and self-delusions that couch potatoes perpetrate?

*”I saw all of Ken Burns’ The Civil War.”
*”The Miss America Pageant? Oh, is that still on?”
*”There’s definitely too much violence on TV.”
*”There’s definitely too much sex on TV.”
*”I get about 70 percent of the questions on Jeopardy! right.”
*”I’m never fooled by those Energizer-bunny commercials.”
*”I only watch PBS and the Discovery Channel.”
*”Bob Berkowitz? Who’s Bob Berkowitz?”
*”I can tell the Olsen twins apart on Full House.”
*”I wasn’t interested in any of those Amy Fisher TV movies.”
*”I would never appear on a talk show.”
*”I’m never home to catch Dr. Quinn.”
*”I watch Melrose Place only to find out what everyone is talking about.”
*”I’ve, like, outgrown MTV.”
*”I prefer Donahue when he does serious topics.”
*”I get all the jokes on Mystery Science Theater 3000.”
*”I like Baywatch for its great story lines.”
*”I hate how my kid is hypnotized by Barney.”
*”I’ve been a Seinfeld fan since the first episode.”
*”I hardly ever watch TV-I’m going to cancel my cable subscription.”