By Lisa Schwarzbaum
Updated October 29, 1993 at 04:00 AM EDT

If Dave Barry the humor columnist spent as much time not writingas Dave Barry the live-action sitcom character played by HarryAnderson on Dave’s World (CBS, Mondays, 8:30-9 p.m.), more than 500newspapers would have blank spaces where Barry’s columns aresyndicated each week. And bookstore shelves would be empty of theirmore than 1 million copies of Barry’s dozen books (the paperbackedition of his latest best-seller, Dave Barry Does Japan, wasrecently published by Fawcett Columbine). But there are more subtledistinctions between art and life, too, as the Pulitzer Prize-winningauthor revealed during a debriefing in his stuff-filled cubicle atThe Miami Herald.*The real Dave Barry’s life does not include a laugh track. ”Also,we have four walls, and they have three. We’ve got one child and twodogs, they have two children and one dog. Neither (my wife) Beth norI plays poker. But I had no say in the matter. Harry Anderson was(the producers’) decision. And the perfect choice. They could havepicked Tony Danza, you know? They could have said, ‘Hey, we changedit a little bit-you’re an aerobics instructor!”’

*The real Dave Barry and his wife do not live in a designer house.”We’re in a new house because our old house got wrecked in thehurricane (Andrew, in 1992), and we haven’t unpacked because we’veonly been there since January. And for us, we need four or five yearsin a house to get all the stuff out of boxes and six or seven beforewe get stuff on the walls. Except for the stuff in (our son) Rob’sroom. But he’s 13. So you can’t really tell what’s there. Jimmy Hoffacould be in Rob’s room.”

*The real Dave Barry does not have a swingin’ editor. ”My editor,Tom Shroder, has less hair by far than Shadoe Stevens. Of course, youcould argue that the entire state of Florida has less hair thanShadoe Stevens, who is one hair- intensive guy.”

*The real Dave Barry does not have wacky friends, including awacky black plastic surgeon who looks like Meshach Taylor. ”The wackportion of your life tends to decline in later years. I’m probablythe wackiest friend any of my friends has, and that’s only because ofwhat I do for a living. I periodically have to engage in wackinessfor professional and tax-deductible reasons.”

*Although both Daves spend a lot of time playing the guitar, thereal Dave Barry is actually very disciplined about his workday. ”Iplay guitar and shoot basketballs because I need to do somethingwhile I’m thinking about how I’m going to finish a sentence. I alsoclip my toenails. And I make lunch. I start writing usually at about7:30 a.m. or so, and I’ll keep writing until about 4:30 most days,with a break for eight or 10 lunches.”

*The real Dave Barry is finishing a book about guys. ”I’ve alwayswanted to write about guys because every time I write a column aboutguys, I get all this mail from women who seem fascinated with howguys think. And guys are so simple! Women find that amazing becausewomen are not simple, and they always assume men must be just ascomplicated as they are but way more mysterious. ! The whole pointis, guys are not thinking much. They’re just what they appear to be.Tragically.”

*Although both Daves write at home, the real Dave Barry does notlive in his bathrobe. ”You’ve got to be professional. I wear myunderwear.”