All movies require suspension of disbelief. But The real mccoy (PG-13) asks you to swallow: That while Karen McCoy (Kim Basinger) was married to a peckerwood used-car salesman in Georgia she picked up the skills necessary to become a notorious bank-heist artiste, said skills including a knowledge of explosives, alarm systems, computer software, and various high-tech toys used to scale walls and break into safes. That she would come out of a six-year prison stretch looking better than when she went in. That the local Mr. Big (Terence Stamp) would plan a theft for a measly $18 million when he already belongs to the snootiest country club in Atlanta and keeps a pair of tigers on his estate grounds. That he would want McCoy to mastermind the job of getting past the bank’s state-of-the-art security (she was on ice for six years, remember?). That he would kidnap her young son (Zach English) to force her to sign up, and that she would avoid telling the kid that he is, in fact, her kid. That, above all, she would find a petty-theft klutz (Val Kilmer, who left his charisma at home) even remotely attractive.
If you can buy all that, have I got a bridge for you.