A ''Coneheads'' glossary -- Dan Aykroyd and Tom Davis translate words like ATM card, basketball players, and others into Conespeak

By EW Staff
Updated August 13, 1993 at 04:00 AM EDT

Consuming mass quantities is all very well, but how does one make meaningful quantity-consumption conversation with a Conehead? To help struggling bluntskulls discuss the aspects of Earth life that really matter, we made a list of words we like and asked Coneheads cowriters Dan Aykroyd and Tom Davis to translate them into Conespeak.

· ATM card binary access wealth card
· Basketball players human sport figures
· Big Mac multilayered protein-slab carbo quantity
· Chelsea Clinton female young one of American Highmaster
· Codependent a genetomate or family-unit member who facilitates another’s dysfunctional excessive intake of intoxicants
· Designer water hydro gulp
· Espresso machine hydrogas freneto-bean dispenser
· The Gap garb outlet
· Goatee pointed face growth
· Grunge residue of tissue decay euphemistically employed to describe a contemporary fashion of tone spew
· Yoko Ono genetomate to late contemporary tone spewer of global status
· (the symbol for Prince) means ”confusion” in Remulakian
· Arnold Schwarzenegger an exaggerated bluntskull
· Velcro petro fiber mega-hook fastener
· StairMaster StairMaster