December 25, 1992 at 05:00 AM EST

One difference between being famous and being nobody is that when famous people say something stupid, they have to eat their words in print. So how do you like ’em — rare, medium, or well-done?

*YOU PROMISED! Syndicated columnist Liz Smith vowed on Aug. 3, ”If Twentieth Century Fox’s new film Buffy the Vampire Slayer isn’t the biggest hit of the second half of the summer — I’ll drive a stake through my heart!” The film (in which Smith had a cameo) stiffed.

*DUNCES WITH WOLVES In a column about Native Americans, Andy Rooney wrote, ”They hang onto remnants of their religion and superstitions that may have been useful to savages 500 years ago but which are meaningless in 1992.” And on 60 Minutes, he jokingly suggested making abortion compulsory for one month every year ”to get the population back down to where it was in 1950, when you could find a parking space.”

*NOT SMART, ALEC Testifying in May with animal-lover girlfriend Kim Basinger in favor of restricting horse carriages in New York City, Alec Baldwin screamed, ”Come on out here, you faggot!” at a driver who had taunted him. Baldwin later chastised himself: ”I dug deep into the bedrock of my own ignorance and bigotry in order to give like I got.”

*FOREVER DUMB Mel Gibson told the Spanish-language magazine El Pais he doesn’t worry that people will think he’s gay just because he’s an actor. ”With this look, who’s going to think I’m gay?” Gibson asked. ”It would be hard to take me for someone like that. Do I look like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them?” The gay magazine The Advocate later named Gibson ”Sissy of the Year.”

*CRITICAL CONDITION In his book Hollywood vs. America, Michael Medved attacked Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, E.T., and The Little Mermaid for undermining the family unit. ”The story line effectively encouraged children to disregard the values and opinions of their parents,” Medved opined of Mermaid. He’s still looking for the satanic messages in Aladdin.

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