Magazine match-ups -- With ''Vanity Fair'''s Tina Brown taking over ''New Yorker,'' here's what other unlikely editor/publication pairings would look like

While magazines cover the news, it’s rare that they themselves make the front page. The recent announcement that glitzy Vanity Fair editor-in-chief Tina Brown would be taking over the sacrosanct but stodgy New Yorker spurred a flurry of headlines — and predictions about how this unlikely matchup would pan out. But what if the rest of the ever-impressionable publishing world takes its cue from the New Yorker switch, sparking other incongruous combinations of magazine and editor? Here’s a sampling of what next year’s magazines, and their tables of contents, might look like.

The New Yorker
as edited by Tina Brown

The Talk Of The Town (Photo Feature)
”The Sad Little Hawk” (Poem) Bruce Willis
”What I Did This Summer” (Essay) Cindy Crawford
A Reporter At Large (Solitary) Jack Henry Abbott
Profile (Pauly Shore) John McPhee
Fax From Washington Anthony Haden-Guest
The Theatre Edith Oliver, Mimi Kramer
Daytime TV James Wolcott
Letters To The Editor

Rolling Stone
as edited by William F. Buckley Jr. of National Review

Rock & Roll
Back To The Future Harpsichord heaven — on the high seas. By William F. Buckley Jr.
Plus: Anita Bryant’s birthday dinner…Investing in CDs…On tour with Florence Henderson.
Feature Stories
Lennon And Lenin They’re both Commies to us. By John Sununu
Rock & Roll Is Still Just A Fad Those long-haired hippies are in for a big surprise, believe you me. By Charlton Heston
Lots & Lots Of Material They Wouldn’t Let Me Use Before By P.J. O’Rourke
Birth of a Nation, by Robert Novak

as edited by Helen Gurley Brown of Cosmopolitan

Harper’s Turn On Index
Panties: A Historiographical Perspective Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr.
Middle East Peace: A Proposal Christina Applegate
Pillow Talk — Is Is Text? Jacques Derrida
Capitol Letter
Hunks Of The Hill The 25 cutest congressional aides Nina Totenberg
How To Avoid A Bad Breakup The lessons of Yugoslavia Conor Cruise O’Brien
Nature’s Bounty Great hikes to meet great guys Annie Dillard
You’re Not A Bimbo…Are You? Test your ideological complexity

as edited by Martha Stewart of Martha Stewart Living

Playboy Place-Mat Adviser
Playboy After Breakfast
Playboy Interview: Jeff Smith — candy conversation
365 Uses For Extra-Virgin Olive Oil Roman Polanski
Recommended Serving — playboy’s hostess-of-the-month pictorial
Playboy’s Party Napkins
Naked Brunch — fiction William S. Burroughs
The Girls Of Smith & Hawken — pictorial
Fuchsia Is A Dirty Word Dr. Ruth Westheimer
Chintz Encounters — pictorial
Petal-Ophilia — floral cutouts
Jacuzzi Cooking — poached tomatoes Fannie Flagg
20 Questions: Sister Parish

as edited by Jane Pratt of Sassy

The Political Interest: Prince Dweeblet Plays Really Hard to Get Waaa! Democrats invite Mario Cuomo to their party (hardy-har-har!), but he acts like he doesn’t even know they’re alive
U.S. Politics: Deeply Slammin’ in the Heart of Texas Andrea and Andrea coach coolo fundage fox Ross Perot on conquering problem skin — and Congress
What He Said: Cute Guys Harshing Jason Priestley, Kurt Cobain, and His Humungo Hunkiness Leon Wieseltier get edged about skanky girls so cold they wear fur
Fashion: Beyond Basic Black Supreme Babe Sandra Day O’Connor shows howta have that ”1600-SAT” style without looking like a (brr!) brainiac
Health: Be a Human Sushi!
Susan Faludi Lashes Back at zits with a seaweed wrap at Spa Go-Go