1. Hill-Thomas Hearings
Liberals just don’t get it. Bush’s next appointee, a conservative woman, will breeze through. 2. City Slickers
Billy Crystal introduces Blazing Saddles to the Iron John weekend. Very positive, very funny.
3. Norman Schwarzkopf
You don’t get to be a four-star general by being a bumblehead. That’s how you get to be a reporter.
4. Demi Moore’s Nude Cover
Who knew it was so hard to find good-looking maternity clothes?
5. Palm Beach Rape Trial
The Kennedys deserve a cable channel all their own — Teddyvision.
6. Liz Taylor’s Eight Wedding
What does it say about singles bars when you can pick up better people at Betty Ford?
7. Julia Roberts
It never would have worked out with Kiefer. She’s a star; he’s not quite a secret square.
8. Robert Maxwell
Funny, but there’s a drunk who looks exactly like him judging bikini contests in Rio.
9. The Rodney King Video
It was shown so often people thought it was a new series.
10. Terminator 2
First E.T., now this. How long will it be before they make an alien the head of a studio? Or have they already?
11. Kitty Kelley’s Nancy Reagan Bio
She’d love to find dirt on Mother Teresa just to say Sinatra put it there.
12. Bank of Congress
What’s the difference between a congressman and a criminal? A congressman stays in for life.
13. Kevin Costner
An Oscar, Robin Hood, JFK all in one year — and he’s rich and handsome. Sure, but is he happy?
15. Gorbachev Coup
Don’t worry, he can always get a public relations job at the BBC.