If we’re not counting a masked man committing a ton of murders, the most pressing matter facing the town of Riverdale is a drug problem in the form of “Jingle Jangle,” which is sold in Pixie Stix and has vaguely cocaine-like symptoms.
And now it seems the epidemic has spread to Trader Joe’s…. Sort of.
You see, Trader Joe’s is selling Jingle Jangle, right there in the open, except their Jingle Jangle is not a whimsical narcotic but rather a salty-sweet mix of chocolate-covered pretzels, caramel corn, peanut-butter cups, and cookies, sold in a festive holiday tin.
“It’s just a fun name that plays off of sleigh bells referenced in Christmas carols since it is a holiday item,” said a representative from Trader Joe’s when an intrepid Vulture reporter inquired as to whether someone at TJ HQ was a fan of dark teen murder-mysteries. “It’s also a fun way to describe the sound customers might hear when they give the tin can a shake.”
The representative also pointed out that their Jingle Jangle was introduced years ago, long before the world ever met Hot Archie.
And so you can refrain from pearl-clutching if you’re worried that fictional drugs have infiltrated your quiet local grocery store, even if “the seasonal treat that will sweep you off your feet” definitely sounds like it could be describing drugs.