Saturday Night Live wasted no time lampooning this week’s headlines, going after Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore.
Just two days before the episode, The Washington Post published an exposé alleging that Moore, currently the Republican candidate in Alabama for a U.S. Senate seat, initiated a sexual encounter with a 14-year-old girl when he was 32.
The cold open imagined a meeting between Moore, played by Mikey Day in a leather vest and cowboy hat, and Beck Bennett’s Vice President Mike Pence, who tried to politely imply that the former should back out of the race. “Think of it as going to conversion therapy to turn yourself into someone who’s no longer a candidate,” Bennett-as-Pence said. “It’s hard to convince people that you’re not into young girls when you dress like Woody from Toy Story.”
Bennett’s Pence also acknowledged the recent sexual misconduct allegations in Hollywood: “Even I heard about Louis C.K., and I’m not allowed to watch TV, I’m only allowed to listen to it.”
Day’s Moore asked if Pence could “call the boss,” but Bennett waved him off, “Sorry, I’m not going to call Vladimir Putin about this.” With that, he left the room to let the judge consider his decision, but lucky for fake Moore, who should pop up out of a cabinet but Kate McKinnon as Jeff Sessions!
“Jeff Sessions, what are you doing here?” Day asked. “I’m doing what I always do, I’m cookin’ up nightmares for children,” McKinnon replied gleefully. “You check a lot of boxes for me, Roy,” her fake Sessions said, but had to admit, “I’m usually the creepiest one in the room, but I look at you and I’m like, oh my god.”
“You, sir, are too Alabama,” she said, sending him out of the room. Once left alone, she grabbed a stuffed possum out of a cabinet, which she addressed as “Papa,” and expressed a secret wish to take the spot in the Senate Moore is after. “I’ll be good. I’ll talk to Kamala Harris,” she promised. “There’s so many men out there acting like monsters. Mr. Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, the president. Daddy, has this been happening forever? Have I both fostered and benefited from a culture of systemic oppression?”
But woke Jeff Sessions couldn’t last. McKinnon listened to the possum and went on: “Nope? Well, that’s a relief!”
Watch the sketch above,