Ariana Bacle
November 09, 2017 AT 11:51 AM EST

Shonda Rhimes celebrated the 300th episode of Grey’s Anatomy by writing a touching, reflective essay for the Shondaland website, where the showrunner admits the medical drama “is sort of a diary” and praises the “sisterhood” of the set and the series as a whole.

“I never like to tell people I identify most with Meredith Grey,” she writes. “It feels too personal. Like a whisper I didn’t even tell myself. But there’s no way I could create this show and NOT identify with Meredith Grey.”

“I’ll tell you a secret. That’s me in the show,” she continues. “Not literally but… yeah, kinda literally. Season after season, pieces of my life are on that screen. … My life is in every episode. Who I am is in every episode. For me, the show is sort of a diary — I can watch it and know exactly what was going on in my real life when an episode was written.”

David Livingston/Getty Images; Derek Johnson/ABC

Grey’s Anatomy first premiered in 2005 and is now airing its 14th season. “Ellen [Pompeo] once told me that we made a commitment to one another doing this show, and she has shown me an extraordinary amount of sisterhood and loyalty that I wish everyone could experience in their lives,” Rhimes says, referring to her star. “That sisterhood is part of what builds this show and keeps it going.”

She goes on to shout out multiple women involved with the show, including Grey’s alum Sandra Oh, who played Cristina Yang up until the character left Seattle for Switzerland in season 10, and Chandra Wilson, who has played Miranda Bailey since the very first episode.

“There are and have always been amazing men, too. But this show, built on the idea of professional, smart women who live for their jobs and love to compete and support one another? I’m saying it’s real. It’s not just a show. It’s not only a story well told. It’s our reality.”

Read the full essay here, and watch the 300th episode of Grey’s Anatomy Thursday night at 8 p.m. ET on ABC.

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