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David Canfield
September 26, 2017 AT 01:37 PM EDT

Saturday Night Live cast member Pete Davidson revealed Monday that he’s been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

The comic spoke frankly about his mental health history with Marc Maron on Maron’s WTF podcast, describing what led to the diagnosis after Davidson entered a rehabilitation program in December of last year. The SNL comedian explained that he initially thought his dramatic mood swings — often culminating in a “blind rage” — were the result of his regular marijuana use, since he had a “mental breakdown” after returning from rehab and resuming use of the drug. But he was provided additional medication at rehab for bipolar disorder, which Davidson was also taking upon his exit.

The diagnosis, Davidson said, came many months later. “I found out I have BPD, which is borderline personality disorder,” he revealed. “One of my psychiatrists [diagnosed me]. He was always saying before this big meltdown, ‘You’re probably bipolar or borderline, we’re just going to have to figure it out.’”

Davidson admitted that he’s “depressed all the time,” but noted that since his diagnosis he’s experienced some improvement via regular therapy sessions. “It is working, slowly but surely,” he said. “I’ve been having a lot of problems. This whole year has been a f—ing nightmare. This has been the worst year of my life, getting diagnosed with this and trying to figure out how to learn with this and live with this.”

Davidson joined SNL as a featured player in 2014 and was upgraded to the main cast this past season. In March, he indicated a recovery after his stint in rehab, saying on Instagram “Just wanted to let you guys know I’m okay … I quit drugs and am happy and sober for the first time in 8 years.” He’d performed stand-up describing previous stints in rehab as well.

Davidson’s father was a New York City firefighter, and he was killed on Sept. 11, 2001, in the terror attacks. Davidson ascribed his mental health issues in part to that loss: “My big thing is trust,” he said to Maron. “One day he was here and the next day he was gone.”

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