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5 NSFW highlights from Tracy Morgan's new Netflix special

‘Staying Alive’ is a raucous celebration of the star’s return to comedy

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Netflix

The subtext of Tracy Morgan’s new Netflix comedy special is clear immediately. Titled Staying Alive and covered in a Saturday Night Fever-style disco aesthetic, the special is a raucous celebration of Morgan’s return to comedy after recovering from his traumatic 2014 car crash. And just in case that was unclear to anyone, the first thing Morgan says after walking out on stage and striking some disco poses is, “We can get right to it, everyone knows I got hit by that f—in’ Walmart truck.”

Over the course of the next hour, Morgan gets personal about his recovery and his relationships with his family. But longtime fans shouldn’t fear: In typical Morgan style, the special is still full of passionate, dirty humor. Here’s a selection of our favorite highlights (many NSFW, of course).

1. It could’ve been worse. Morgan doesn’t waste any time making light of his car crash. In his view, it could’ve been worse: “I could’ve been hit by a discount furniture truck. You know they ain’t got no f—ing money. Driven by some dude named Rico, no license, no insurance, no registration, INS is on his ass.” And though Morgan sued Walmart for a lot of money, it wasn’t enough to change his patronage: “When I was in that wheelchair, I still shopped at Walmart. You still can’t beat their prices. But after my settlement, everything went up a penny.”

2. Celebrity reunion in heaven: To hear Morgan tell it, he really did visit heaven briefly while in his coma (although at first, he was resistant to go to the light “because I thought it was the police”). During his short time there, he managed to catch up with some old friends: “I seen Biggie Smalls. He looked good, lost weight! Got that diabetes under control. Elvis Presley still looked like a piece of s—. Can’t leave that fine food alone. Ol’ Dirty Bastard got 10 new kids already. Michael Jackson told me what really happened. He said ‘Tracy, I died in that f—ing Pepsi commercial. But the gravy train was so good they got a lookalike, and that motherf—er went crazy.”

3. The dangers of Florence Nightingale Syndrome: During his recovery, Morgan was determined to pursue physical therapy so that he’d be able to walk his wife Megan Wollover down the aisle at their 2015 wedding. They ran into a problem, though, when the physical therapist turned out to be gorgeous, and Morgan started falling into “Florence Nightingale Syndrome.” He explains: “True story, Florence Nightingale was a nurse in the Crimean War. She would nurse all the wounded soldiers back to health and they’d fall in love with her. That happened to me. Then one day my wife saw that s— like, ‘What the f— is going on?’ I said, ‘No baby I didn’t mean it, I love you. It’s just a syndrome.’ She said, ‘Yeah, motherf—er, guess what? I got a syndrome too. It’s called the Big Dick Mailman Syndrome.’”

RELATED: Tracy Morgan: My purpose after accident is to ‘spread love’

4. The difference between suburbs and the ghetto: Morgan and his wife now live in an affluent suburb, which is different from the Brooklyn ghetto where he grew up. Here’s the main difference, according to him: “When we argue, we don’t yell no more, because there’s an echo in the suburbs. That s— reverberates all the way around the block. ‘Motherf—er! Motherf—er, motherf—er, motherf—er…oh s—! Somebody in the house!’ But in the ghetto there ain’t no echo, there’s just a bunch of motherf—ers yelling at each other. And if you think somebody’s in your house, somebody’s in your house. I ain’t even mad at the driver that hit me. I forgave him. But I’ll tell you who is mad at him: All my white neighbors.”

5. Preparing for death: After his brush with death, Morgan is now prepared for the real thing. In one of the special’s genuine moments, he talks about being at peace with hit mortality. He does have one stipulation, though: “I told my wife the other day, ‘If I should leave this Earth before you, God forbid, you better sit on that p—y for two years. Show your love. If you want to go to other women, cool. I’m a ghost, I’ll be haunting you, I might want some girl-on-girl action. But if you give it to another man, I’ll put my ghost foot in his ass. If you give that s— up too soon, you’ll be riding the next motherf—er and I’ll knock a picture off the wall… He’s here!’”

Staying Alive is now streaming on Netflix.