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Josh McDermitt
February 27, 2017 AT 08:51 AM EST

Hey ya’ll! Josh McDermitt here. This last week’s episode of The Walking Dead was a Eugene-focused episode. It feels weird and awkward to do a recap of an episode where I’m so heavily featured, so I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve asked my 9-year-old nephew, Riley, to write the recap instead. See you next week. Enjoy!

Note: You can read EW’s interview about the episode with McDermitt here.

Hello Internet, my name is Riley and my Uncle Josh asked me to write a recap for his TV show The Walking Dead. I’ve never watched the show before, so it seems weird that he asked me to do his homework for him. I have a lot on my plate as it is (I’m learning multiplication!) so writing this has been a chore. Chores? Ewww, gross!

And if I’m being honest, this is my first foray into journalism so if you don’t mind, I might make this a hit piece on my Uncle Josh. My hope is to secure my future in writing at an early age by taking him down a notch or two. We’ll see…

Okay, let’s start with the obvious: THIS SHOW IS FREAKING SCARY! Again, I’m 9 years old and still have an innocent soul. My friends at school have just started learning “yo mama” jokes; that’s where I am in my life. My favorite so far is, ‘Yo mama so fat, she jumped in the air and got stuck in the sky!” LOL. So watching The Walking Dead for the first time is a bit jarring for me emotionally.

Uncle Josh (Eugene) spent most of the episode crying like a baby. I mean, even I don’t cry that much. I can’t wait until I see him again so I can give him a hard time for being a crybaby. It’s all in jest, though. Bullying is not funny. I’m merely going to give him a hard time. I hope he can take it. Probably not since he’s a CRYBABY.

It must have been a shock to the system for Eugene to all of a sudden have his own apartment with lavish amenities by apocalypse standards. My favorite part is when the girl Savior asked what he wanted to eat and he said lobster. LOL. Who does my Uncle Josh think he is? Lobster? What are you at a Michelin-starred restaurant? What an idiot. Also, aren’t they near Washington, D.C.? Which is near Maryland? I don’t know much, but I do know Maryland is known for their crabs. THAT’S what Eugene should’ve asked for. Read the room, man; know your surroundings. My Uncle Josh is such an idiot.

I asked my Uncle Josh about holding that jar of pickles the entire scene when Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) was asking for advice on what to do with the walkers along the fence line. He said the jar was really heavy and that it hurt his wrists while he was holding it. I can imagine it hurt him because Uncle Josh has NO MUSCLES!!! HAHAAHHAA.

But then he said that he really loves working with Jeffrey Dean Morgan and that he is such a fine addition to the cast. He said that Jeff is such a giving actor and as mean and menacing as Negan can be, as soon as the cameras stop rolling, Jeff’s big smile comes out and you can’t help but fall in love with the guy.

There was a moment in the episode where Eugene was in the marketplace getting the materials to make the death pill and he finally grew a backbone and stood up to that mean vendor. It seemed like that was a turning point for the character. He was scared and I bet he might continue to be scared at times going forward. But in this moment, he summoned the strength and confidence to step into being a man of action. Something my Uncle Josh is not. But Eugene? Most definitely.

I was happy to see that Eugene recognized that the pills were intended for Negan and not for one of his wives, Amber. I saw that coming from a mile away because I know everything. So I was clearly happy that he came to that realization and kept himself from possibly getting his head smashed in by Lucille.

The most shocking part of the episode — and again, not shocking to me because I know everything — was when Eugene said, “I’m Negan.” This is a man who has been so scared living in this world, and now he has an opportunity to not be scared anymore. Negan even says, “You don’t have to be scared anymore.” This is like a hit of heroin to Eugene. Full disclosure, I’m a part of the D.A.R.E. program and don’t know what heroin is like, but I can imagine just based on the relief from Eugene’s face in that moment. Don’t do drugs, though.

If I could mention very quickly, Dwight (Austin Amelio) is crushing it this episode. This man is so broken and he and his wife both made sacrifices for each other in order to save the each other. And now to see that Sherry (Christine Evangelista) has skipped town certainly puts Dwight in a bad spot. This poor guy. The apocalypse is taking its toll on this dude’s personal life.

That’s it for me! I hope I never have to do this again. I didn’t like staying up past my bedtime to watch the show and then write this article. My bedtime is 8 p.m., so I’m sure I’ll be crabby tomorrow at school.

One more… Yo mama so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept! Riley out.

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