Welcome back to The X Factor, where it was ROCK WEEK! The top 10 “acts” performed songs that either were rock and roll or “in the style of rock and roll.” The only person who legitimately rocked out was Josh Krajcik, though P.K. Marcus Canty did make a valiant effort by sliding through six sleazy dancers’ spread-open legs, just like Janis Joplin used to do. Simon then attempted to steal Rock Week’s thunder because he had just joined Twittah — and the fact of the mattah is, it worked.
This week’s canned bickering between L.A. and Simon seemed more confusing than ever. What’s going on with all these theme weeks anyway? We keep getting “FIVE MILLION DOLLAR RECORDING CONTRACT” drilled into our brains under the assumption that one of these “acts” can come into his/her/their own throughout the competition and create never-before-seen star power as unique artists. So why even have theme nights? Do they want these kids and their grandfather to be versatile or do they want them to figure out what they do best and then do it better and maybe with a bit of a twist? The rock theme seemed like a crutch for the judges/coaches. Perhaps the best or any real mentoring is yet to come.
Leroy Bell — to whom Simon delivered the ultimate kiss of “I don’t know your name now and never will” by calling him “Lorey” — sang a very pretty rendition of Bob Seger’s “We’ve Got Tonight” that disappointed L.A. Reid. “You’re still not working it like a rock star,” said the lord of the seated dance moves. What do you want from him, L.A. — he doesn’t wanna throw his underwear onto the stage like Tom Jones. Why is the sleeve tattoo that prevents him from ever getting a traditional job not enough for you? Meanwhile, Paula encouraged LeRoy to get away from the mic and engage with the audience. “WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE HORRIBLE COMMENTS?” wondered Steve Jones, who might actually seem less awkward onstage if he was in just his underwear.
NEXT: A 13-year-old can’t get no satisfaction