After a long, drawn-out results show featuring performances by Willow Smith and Jessie J, an awkward group number that took place in The Matrix, and Paula Abdul’s dramatic attempt to straddle the Earth’s axis and lit-ruh-ly stop time, the second “act” to be eliminated from the X Factor laser field is….
The Stereo Hogzz.
Just like last week, poor Paula had to face down all of her pets during the final moments, clutch her hanky, and crush some dreams. This time, though, she refused to vote — against either the Hogzz or lady bottom-dwellers Lakoda Rayne. She was too close to all of them, even though she was sitting so far away on the Platform of the Privileged. Eventually, despite Paula’s amusing attempt to “save” the Hogzz by halfheartedly voting against the girls, Simon Cowell swept in and announced he would have voted the guys out anyway.
A group just can’t catch a break on The X Factor! Or a decent results show performance, for that matter. I guess according to L.A. Reid we’re now calling these the “Save Me” performances. (“Sing For Your Life” does have an ominous ring to it that perhaps children shouldn’t have to handle.)
Lakoda Rayne went with “No Air,” featuring Hailey, the brunette, on lead vocal at the beginning. She sounded terrible, but watching the three Blondes glare at the Non as she flushed their imaginary five million dollars down the toilet was hilarious. I had trouble deciding if the Blondes were more aghast at Hailey’s off-key, off-rhythm singing, or her Hamburglar pants.
NEXT: The Stereo Hogzz ask themselves, how did love slip away?