Okay, I’m getting excited! Now that The X Factor has finally combed through the riff raff and come up with 32 decent “acts” (such an appropriate term when you think about it — or when you don’t), I have a bit more confidence that this can turn into a good show. I feel like the cah-tah-gry assignments for Nicole Scherzinger (Over 30s!) and Paula Abdul (GROUPS!) have just ramped up the train-wreck potential of this show to a level I could barely conceive of until just now. A Pussycat Doll counseling adults, in anything? And Paula has to wrangle a whimpering pack of 10 initially discarded toddlers in addition to seven other groups? Insane! I’m obsessed with this.
On to the episode! After a few more crippity-crappity group numbers, we saw 64 acts make it through. Then Steve Jones confidently announced, “IT’S THE NEXT DAY,” and those surviving acts performed sing-for-your-life solos in front of 3,000 blonde girls Steve Jones had picked up on the street. Finally, the judges hemmed and hawed over everyone’s faces on laminated cards, deciding whether they’d look good enough on TV to be put through. “Wow, that was hard,” Paula said. And it was time to crush some dreams.
Nicole needs to work on her no…but yes fakeouts — a reality competition staple by now. “I have to be honest and speak from my heart,” she told a group of hopefuls — so you already knew she was lying. “You’ve made it to the next round.” Contrast this with Simon’s short but sweet “It’s not good news; it’s great news.” What a veteran! He must be over 30. (For the record, Nicole is too.)
NEXT: Your top 32 contestants, Ameriker!