”Veronica Mars”: Veronica catches the stalker
Wow. I can’t believe they did it. I can’t believe Veronica Mars had the guts to kill Wallace. And that whole bit of business with Mac being the illegitimate daughter of Aaron Echolls — didn’t see that one coming! And, of course, let’s not forget the sex scene between Veronica and Dick. Man, I guess hell really has frozen over….
If you missed last night’s VM, then boy, did you miss a whole heaping mound of momentousness! And if you did manage to catch the episode, then, of course, you know that ”Look Who’s Stalking Now” was indeed momentous for a mound of reasons other than the ones I listed in the first paragraph — especially since everything I listed in that first paragraph actually didn’t happen.
Yep, I’m just playing with you, mostly because I can: Seems that, in its infinite wisdom, the lame-duck weblet that is UPN decided to schedule the stretch run of VM‘s sophomore season on a night in which many of its two-bit affiliates would much rather air highly rated local sports programming than the poorly rated offerings provided by the network. My understanding is that the show aired at the inconvenient hour of 1 a.m. in Los Angeles; I still don’t know when viewers in New York will be able to see it. These days, it seems that UPN is giving VM every chance in the world — to fail.
Which is a shame, because after a rocky middle section, VM has pulled itself together with a sterling sequence of episodes to conclude the season — with the exception, of course, of that recent dream episode, which was burdened with the problem of being too good for its own good. But we’ve been there, debated that, so let’s move on.
Among the major events in ”Look Who’s Stalking,” we indeed found out who’s been stalking Mayor Woody Goodman. And while I was hoping the perp would be revealed to be that human-sound-effects guy who costarred with the Gute in all those Police Academy movies, we learned that it was Lucky, the psycho school janitor with the war-scarred butt, and the allegedly decent dude with whom Meg’s rigidly religious parents had tried to set up their dead daughter. Daddy Mars came close to coaxing out of Lucky his reasons for video-stalking both Mayor Woody and daughter Gia, but he was rudely interrupted by Sheriff Lamb, who had to let Lucky go after Meg’s parents posted his bail. The utter loathing evidenced by Lucky toward the Gute further stoked the coals of my Woody Is a Child Molester theory, but given how the show now seems to be actively encouraging this speculation, I’m guessing a Big Twist is coming.
Regardless, the Gute gave us even more reason to believe that he is, at the very least, your garden-variety scumbag politician when he asked Keith to help him out with the old ”My mistress just overdosed in our motel room; I need to get rid of her” problem, which seems to plague so many of our elected leaders. Keith paid the price when he found himself on the front page of the paper the next day, accused by Woody himself of taking advantage of the woman, a volunteer in Woody’s Neptune incorporation initiative (which, by the way, failed with voters). After the woman subsequently and mysteriously skipped town, Keith had no choice but to go public with his side of the story. All of this smells a little fishy to me. I’m thinking Keith was set up by the Gute himself. I think Woody wanted the picture of Keith carrying the woman out of the motel leaked, and I think Woody wanted Keith to retaliate by going to the press with the truth. Why? My theory — and while it might sound far-fetched, I think it’s plausible — is that Woody engineered this scandal in order to create a situation that forces him to resign from office. His whole incorporation initiative was a scam; he actually wanted it to fail. And my guess is that in the process of trying and failing, Woody has furthered his business interests. (Remember: The man is a baseball and burgers mogul.) But of course, he can’t reap the benefits unless he’s a private citizen again. Yet he can’t simply resign; his ulterior motives would suddenly become transparent. But if he was forced out of office by a scandal…
I have some darker theories, but since they’re linked to my Woody-is-a-pedophile suspicion, and I prefer to limit myself to only one creepy, stomach-churning Woody-is-a-pedophile theory per week, maybe we can come back to it next week.
But I know what all of you really want to talk about: Veronica and Logan. My indifference toward the ‘shipper aspects of this show is well noted, as is my belief that we haven’t met a guy who is truly worthy of Veronica’s heart (hence, my lack of interest in the Logan vs. Duncan debate). But I must admit, Logan was making me a believer at the faux prom with his Bogey-in-Casablanca tux and his drunken ”I thought our story was epic” speech. And clearly, Logan was making Veronica a believer, too — until, that is, she showed up the next morning and learned not only that he could not quite recall that speech but that he had also spent the night with the rascally Kendall Casablancas (whose quest to regain her stolen hard drive apparently took a figurative detour into Logan’s bedroom). My guess, however, is that Logan will earn some redemption in Veronica’s eyes in the season finale — along with another chance at rekindling their ”epic” love story. And you know, I just might be interested.
There were lots of other little crucial bits and pieces thrown into VM‘s typically dense mystery stew, as well. Continuing the show’s season 2 practice of bringing back faces we thought we would never see again, just for the hell of it, Veronica’s former flame Deputy Leo made a surprise reappearance — apparently, he now works in private security, and we learned he was hired by Woody to keep an eye on Gia. And on the slow-burning Terrence Cook front, the former baseball star awoke from his coma long enough to deny to Daddy Mars that he had caused the bus crash. The episode ended with the revelation that someone had slipped to the papers that whole thing about him throwing games.
”Look Who’s Stalking” was all about advancing VM‘s great many subplots, some more than others — getting all the chess pieces in place for the final moves that will bring the second season to a close. Which means it’s time to place your final bets, people. I’ve foisted my Woody-is-a-pathological-creepazoid theories upon you. What evil scheme do you think is cooking in the Gute’s head? Or are you betting the house on cretinous Kendall? Or do you have a hunch that Sorbonne-bound Jackie — Terrence’s daughter, Wallace’s squeeze — could be on the verge of getting away with (mass) murder? Talk back!
PS: Yes, the Tom Cruise joke was genius. (Once, teenage girls dreamed of marrying Tom Cruise. Now, they live in fear of it.)