In honor of the hook-up that set Sur aflame and Baz Luhrmann’s Netflix series, from now on I’m going to call Brittany and Kristen’s maybe-affair The Go Down. And let me tell you: The Go Down is really fueling some gold low-brow jokes from owner and pony-lover Lisa Vanderpump.
I’m sure everyone knew this already but there’s something called World Dog Day. It’s definitely not just a made up event that happens in WeHo so that the Sur staffers can walk around a park with tiny dogs and glare at each other. Definitely not. Very real holiday.
Lisa has a new addition to her household: a rescue dog named Harrison (I predict somewhere Harrison Ford is not giving three f—s about this). But World Dog Day cannot distract everyone from The Go Down, particularly Lady VPump. She keeps churning out different quips about said incident. She’s like a dog with a bone. #WorldDogDay
So we learn in this episode that the two Toms like to spend one day a month together at the spa. This is the least surprising revelation that has ever occurred on Vanderpump Rules. Turns out, Schwartz is not budgeting at all for his upcoming wedding. This just reeks of a disaster. You can tell even Sandoval — who clearly spends his Sur paycheck on hair streaks and jazzy shiny blazers from TopShop — is shocked at this news. Even more disturbing? Tom Schwartz does not want a cake!
One thing that is definitely a momentous occasion: We had our first real intense sit-down in the alley of Sur with all the extra chairs. This is one of my favorite spots on the show for the shear jankiness of it all. There’s like office chairs. I think there’s a dumpster nearby. It’s the “break room” of Sur but with more street garbage. James takes Scheana out there to apologize to her for talking about her “new nose.” It goes about as well as is expected. James will probably write a song about it later.
Speaking of his tunes, his muse Lala meets her mother for lunch. Almost immediately, Lala starts crying to her mother because she think she’s becoming a terrible person. Well, gurl, you did just fat shame a large group of coworkers not so long ago. Her mom thinks Lala shouldn’t be drinking so much. Lala agrees and then the pair order some wine. Good talk!
NEXT: Now let’s get down to business