The Vampire Diaries is back for its sixth season and, at least in the premiere, almost feels like a new show: Without the weight of a Big Bad, it’s about these characters grieving the loss of Damon and Bonnie—who, we found out in the last seconds, are in some wonderful place where they can read the newspaper while eating Damon-made pancakes that have vampire faces on them (blueberries, with whipped cream fangs). Being that this is TVD, however, it’s probably not as divine as it looks (Damon, for instance, had a shirt on). But it was nice to see the “real” Damon after Elena spent the episode hallucinating the fake him. Here we go…
We open with a couple making out in a tent in the woods. If women and men are equal, it means she has to be the one to go outside and check out a noise—which turns out to be Sheriff Forbes, who’s cracking down on underage drinking now that she doesn’t have to worry about vampire-on-human crime. Well, hold up. The kids parked outside the Mystic Falls border and end up snacks for a long-haired vampire that seems rather Elena-esque.
Elena’s voiceover starts and informs us that sophomore year has begun and she’s now an overachieving pre-med student under a doctor, Jo—played by She’s All That‘s Jodi Lyn O’Keefe (which is some unexpected casting, but you know what, good for her)—so she can get access to blood bags. Resurrected Alaric, who you’ll recall is a new vampire, is now a professor at Whitmore teaching occult studies and quietly scolds excessively thirsty Elena for drinking blood in his class when he sees his students as blood sausages. Matt, meanwhile, is kicking ass in the town square as a member of the community protection squad headed by a guy played by Colin Ferguson. Jeremy is back to being season 1 annoying—drinking all day, making out with random girls, and playing video games.
Stefan is supposedly off tracing some lead on a witch who can contact the dead, but in his spare time, which he has a lot of, he’s working as a mechanic in Savannah and not returning Caroline’s calls. Mechanic means goodbye V-necks, hello crew necks, by the way. Deal with it. Caroline dropped out of Whitmore and is now focusing on finding a way to break the anti-magic force field that’s keeping vampires out of Mystic Falls. Alaric gives her books to read during meetings where she wears super-cute dresses. After losing Bonnie, she’s been hanging out with her mother all summer and picnicking just outside of town. She’s pissed because Elena hasn’t grieved for Damon. Why? Elena’s been guilting Luke into getting her ancient herbs that allow her to hallucinate Damon. She’s scarier than caffeine pill-addicted Jessie Spano when she threatens him to get more after he decides she’s had enough escapism. Human Tyler has enrolled in college now and is only on the practice football squad. It must suck to go from being a hybrid to just an ordinary boy with anger issues, but that’s why he’s suiting up—to kick ass in a controlled environment. He’s also hate-flirting with Liv.
NEXT: Paul Wesley auditions for a Nicholas Sparks movie