Well, those of you who’d like to see the show move on from the will they or won’t they (again) storyline of Damon and Elena are out of luck. But regardless of where you fall on the debate, a question: Why can’t Elena just date Damon and see if she likes him now for herself? Why does she have to wait for him to get Bonnie back so Bonnie can tell her whether Damon is decent or still a dick? Doesn’t the fact that Bonnie sacrificed herself so Damon could return count as an endorsement for at least dinner and a movie? But I digress.
We open with a truly frightening scene on May 4, 1994: Young Jo takes a large knife out of her spleen and stumbles into the next room to hide a young boy and girl under a bed as Kai hunts them. The kinds are blond, so immediately you guess they’re Liv and Luke. Cut back to present day, and Kai has transported Bonnie to Portland, Oregon, to cook her Thanksgiving dinner in the house where he committed mass murder. Charming.
Caroline is naturally planning a Friendsgiving, and for some reason, Jeremy and Matt are too busy cleaning the Tripp mess up to attend. Presumably, Sheriff Forbes had them over for some turkey, though. Jo breaks the news that Alaric has decided to have an impromptu boys weekend with the Salvatore Brothers. When Elena calls Alaric, he tells her about Bonnie’s teddy bear, Miss Cuddles, giving them hope that she’s still alive. They’re in Portland to track the Gemini coven and to make Stefan feel bad that he was the only one not invited to Friendsgiving. How would Caroline feel about Alaric and Damon knowing that she had feelings for Stefan? It makes for great comedy here as they list her pros (she’s hot, she puts up with Stefan, and she’s organized) and cons (she also slept with Damon).
The guys arrive at an open field and see nothing, at first. But then Damon starts using Bonnie’s bear, Miss Cuddles, to taunt Stefan: “Oh, no, is Stefan feeling sensitive about ruining his friendship with Caroline? She really liked him and he broke her heart,” he says in a high-pitched voice. “See, Stefan,” Alaric deadpans, “even the bear knew.” Brilliant. Damon continues talking in the bear voice until Stefan grabs it and punts it like Kyle kicking Ike on South Park. Suddenly, the house appears. “Miss Cuddles, 1. Invisible creepy mansion, 0,” Damon says.
Back at Caroline’s, Liv shows up being annoyingly pissy for someone who’s about to turn 22 with the chance to hook up with Tyler. She looks familiar to Jo, who has now sort of become the person I relate to most on the show as a thirtysomething woman who loves wine. She’s happy to see the two bottles Liam brought. Elena is just grateful that Jo risked her career to change that fake Lady Whitmore’s medical files, because now Liam is back to thinking Elena’s not a girl with secrets.
Alaric suspects that Bonnie put her magic in Miss Cuddles. The bear stays on the porch with Damon and Stefan when only human Alaric can go inside the house. After Bonnie (thinks she) convinces Kai to let her peacefully leave if she stays for one last meal together, we see Caroline try to gather everyone at the table and have them turn off their electronics. Luke plays a video of his and Liv’s fourth birthday party and Jo recognizes her own voice: Yep, she’s their sister.
NEXT: Father knows best