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The Vampire Diaries recap: No Feelings, No Attachments

Kol toys with Jeremy and Damon, while Stefan learns to enjoy himself again

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The Vampire Diaries
Annette Brown/The CW

The Vampire Diaries

TV Show
run date:
Nina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder, Paul Wesley
The CW

I feel guilty saying this was my favorite episode of the season since there was no Tyler and Caroline. (I’d take them over Team Shane, even though Tyler and Caroline don’t seem to be players in the race for the cure.) But this hour had the kind of big, bold twists that made us love this show in the first place. And the Stefan Who Doesn’t Love Elena is even more fun than Ripper Stefan. I’d like to retract my earlier statement about not wanting to see him and Rebekah have sex. That scene was hot. More, please. Let’s dig in.

We returned to the bar where Klaus had massacred those innocents so Jeremy could kill them all after they’d transitioned and grow his mark. But Jeremy balked: “I don’t take orders from you, dick. Hunters can’t be compelled.” I think this show is going to single-handedly bring back the word “dick,” which I feel lost out to “douche” for too long. Klaus adapted: He’d give Jeremy and Matt a two-minute head start, then he’d compel the new vampires to kill Matt so Jeremy would have to slay them. Jeremy managed to kill the first one that took a bite of Matt, then told Matt they should run to the lake house where the vamps couldn’t get in. Damon was disappointed that Jeremy wanted to retreat, but then he softened — ah, he cares about Matt a bit now, too (for Elena’s sake, no doubt). Damon said he’d slow the vamps down and ripped one’s heart out. Nice. We forgot Elena was coming to the lake to see Damon. She arrived just in time to save Matt from another vampire, and inside they went. We saw the line of vampires approaching. It’s a wonder that vampires don’t use the “burn the house down so they have to come out” trick. But the sun came up, and everyone was safe.

Elena was naturally upset with Damon, but she agreed to let him stay with Jeremy and go hunting while she took Matt, who Damon dubbed the Least Most Valuable Player home with her. He promised to keep Jeremy safe and told Elena to trust him. Was that the sire bond or simply not having any other brilliant ideas?

Back at Salvatore Mansion, Stefan was doing one of his favorite activities — walking into his bedroom wearing pants but no shirt. I approve of this pastime. Rebekah was waiting on the bed, reading Stefan’s diary to make sure he’s on the up and up wanting to be on Team Rebekah. She told Stefan their new plan was to steal Silas’ headstone from Shane so Team Shane would have to join them.

Speaking of Team Shane, they were at his office, where Bonnie was freaking out that she can’t control her power after doing that Expression spell that almost killed April. He held her hand: “Bonnie, look at me, I’m here with you. You don’t have anything to worry about. You are strong, you are focused, you are in complete control.” She repeated she was in complete control as though he’d hypnotized her. I just want to slap him. Sheriff Forbes and Mayor Bonnie’s Dad arrived to bring Shane in for questioning.

NEXT: Kol is a new player!