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The Vampire Diaries recap: There's a He-Wolf in the Closet

Mason continues to keep Tyler in the dark about the source of his anger issues; Stefan lifts Elena up where she belongs.

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Vampire Diaries Ian Paul
Quantrell Colbert/The CW

The Vampire Diaries

TV Show
run date:
Nina Dobrev, Ian Somerhalder, Paul Wesley
The CW

I’m already imagining the Great Salvatore-Lockwood Showdown. In my mind, the Salvatore Brothers are wearing black button-down shirts that have lost their buttons from all their quick movements, so they hang open. The Lockwood men are either totally shirtless or wearing tanks like the one Mason sported for the jog in this episode. Seriously, bravo, costume designer Jennifer Bryan. You made me want to pause on Mason’s chest and zoom in on that tease of a back tattoo. But first…

A cheer for vampire Caroline being able to do what poor Vicki couldn’t — survive. Vicki used drugs to numb her pain, so I buy that she would’ve given into the hunger easier than Caroline did. Though, let’s face it, Caroline wasn’t exactly discreet during her learning phase. She woke up famished in the hospital in the middle of the night and conveniently, there was a patient receiving blood across the hall, so she stole a bag. (Wouldn’t the nurse have noticed the missing bag? They do keep records of those things, and Caroline hadn’t learned about mind compulsion yet.) Also convenient: There was a tube attached to the bag that resembled a jumbo straw. She drank from it and gagged, then tossed it on the floor. She eyed it again, then downed it like a 10-year-old boy getting a Capri Sun after being lost in the Georgia woods for two days in August (without water).

Caroline realized she needed out of the hospital before the next sunrise because A) Matt had told her she was going to be released the next day, and she’d already figured out that sunlight burns her and B) She didn’t trust Elena to run the Mystic Falls High School Annual Carnival because she doesn’t know the meaning of the word “fabulous.” Now I love an epic goldfish toss as much as the next girl who grew up attending multiple town carnivals and one county fair each summer in Central Pennsylvania — shout-out to my late, long-living goldfish Arnold, who was awesome — but nothing that has Bart and Homer Simpson dolls and Team Jacob T-shirts to run out of  is “fabulous.” It’s just fun.

As Caroline prepared to bolt the hospital, she learned that her necklace also burned her, and that she had fangs, which she sank into the night nurse, who was still on duty. Caroline wasn’t quiet when she attacked her, so I’m not sure why no one else on the floor came running. Mystic Falls doesn’t appear to be a one-doctor town like Cicely, AK, or Grady, SC. Caroline wasn’t sure why the nurse said and did everything she told her to, but what I loved was that everything Caroline said was, well, so very Caroline. Of course Miss Mystic Falls would apologize repeatedly for the bite marks, and obviously, the cover story she thought of would be that the woman’s husband likes to get kinky.

Next: A bad night for a sexy beast.