Up until now, UnREAL has been about stretching the truth of reality to make “good” reality TV. But as Rachel learned this week, sometimes the reality’s just too juicy to air. (And watching her own reality is far better than the alternative when it comes to her private affairs, if you catch my drift.)
Enter Faith, the Everlasting lady of the week. Adam chooses Faith (and Mississippi) for a hometown visit, because handsome British meat puppets are easy to manipulate using “toddler-level reverse psychology,” as Rachel puts it. But heading to Faith’s conservative hometown with the crew won’t be as easy for Rachel: Dr. Wagerstein warns her she’ll be on an overnight trip with Jeremy, Jeremy warns her not to toy with Adam, and Quinn warns her she needs to get Faith to lose her virginity to Adam on the trip, or else this week’s retreat to “God’s country” will be as unsatisfying as the porn Rachel watches in the beginning of the episode.
Rachel, being Rachel, convinces Faith she should “get physical”/”lose [her] flower” to Adam, but she ends up doing it a little too well. Faith—who’s never been kissed and thinks “getting physical” with Adam means holding his hand—goes from zero to infinity on the lust scale after just one conversation. “I’m in love with Adam, and I want him to take my virginity tonight,” she says when Rachel encourages her to talk about sex “under the watchful eye of God.” (Way to leave out all those other watchful eyes in this scenario, Rachel.) But “sweet little tater” Faith gets salty when Rachel brings up how much her best friend Amy’s opinions matter to her. And when Faith awkwardly confesses her virginity before walking away from her aggressive makeout sesh with Adam, Rachel puts two and two together. She asks Faith if she’s in love with Amy. “We’ve had unholy thoughts,” Faith admits, “but we’ve never acted on them.”
And there’s the twist of the week: It turns out Faith went on the show to try and “fix” her own feelings, and Rachel gently tells her she doesn’t need any fixing and even promises she’ll kill the tape of her coming out. And when nothing happens after Faith closes her eyes, waiting for God’s lightning to strike, she’s elated, completely forgetting about Adam and Everlasting and the conservative community in which she grew up. She’s ready to come out to her entire congregation—you know, the loving, supporting, small-town crowd that could pull 180 on all that loving support if she reveals her secret. So, uh…#lovewins?
Of course, not everyone catches Faith’s high, because it’s far too dangerous for the naïve Faith to declare her secrets to her town. To stop Faith, Rachel hands Adam a ring at the last minute and has him ask Faith to commit to another week on the Everlasting “journey,” stopping her from getting into trouble just in time. But Rachel’s obstacle-ridden trip isn’t over yet: She has to deal with Jeremy, who appears to make nice with Rachel, asking her about her post-meltdown depression. Just as they almost take a literal roll in the hay—I see what you did there, UnREAL—he stops and says, “I know how things start with you and I know how they end, and I can’t do it, Rach.” Risky move, Jeremy. Sure, you stopped things at the last minute, but if Rachel ever decides to tell your fiancée…
Never mind that for now. Rachel also has to deal with Jay, who happily handed Chet the tapes of Faith’s “hillbilly lesbo stuff” (Chet’s words/Chet’s the worst), because he just can’t help being Chet’s loyal, desperate puppy. When Rachel tries to stop him from using the footage, Chet gets angry, forcing Adam(!) to step in. He offers Chet a sex tape, a watercooler moment even better than Faith’s coming out. Rachel’s relieved, but Adam’s expecting a little more in return. And when he comes on to her, she backs away. “I don’t know how in the hell this just happened, but in this exact moment, you’re my only friend,” she tells him. “Let’s not break it.”
NEXT: Mary, Mary, quite contrary…