”Ugly Betty” recap: Betty gets kissed!
Hardcore movie snobs might not agree, but if there’s one instance that Casablanca‘s iconic love song, ”As Time Goes By,” was appropriate for Ugly Betty, tonight was it. Hands down. With the way events had been playing out, though, I didn’t expect to hear the tune’s romantic notes — or any romantic tune, for that matter. Possibly some heart-wrenching music as Henry slunk away, sad and lonely.
But then, bam! After a sorrowful goodbye that had me convinced we’d seen the last of these star-crossed lovers as a couple, Betty bounded back down her steps and into his arms: ”I know you’re leaving in five months,” Betty said with her heart on her sleeve. ”And I know everyone’s going to say it’s a big mistake, and I know I’m gonna get my heart broken. But maybe it’s worth it.” Henry’s response (definitely no ”Here’s looking at you, kid,” but we’ll take it): ”Are you sure?” For God’s sake, Henry, yes, she’s sure! Yes — a thousand times yes! Kiss her!
Then…he did! That delicious, consummating kiss that we’ve all been waiting for. Finally! And truly, the smooch had a lot behind it — namely, pent-up geek lust. The relief was so palpable after watching the awkward Henry and Betty hem and haw around it for so long. Who cares that Henry has a baby on the way or that he’s leaving in five months? Or that a breakup/misunderstanding/crazy mix-up is likely lurking right around the corner to ruin this bliss? Or that dating a coworker is never a good idea? I’m living in the moment with this, and you should, too. Enjoy it, TV Watchers, ’cause happiness doesn’t last long on Betty.
We got that message loud and clear with the drama that went down between Daniel and Alexis during Bradford and Willy’s oh-so-awkward family dinner. Alexis found out Bradford hated her before she lost her memory, and Daniel discovered that Alexis was at fault for the finale-episode wreck. (On a side note, what the hell was Willy wearing during the dinner scenes? Love the silver mini and fierce bob, as per usual, but the dust ruffle around her waist made her look like a maid! Or was that the point, and I just didn’t get why in the hell she’d want to look like a maid?)
Claire, poor Claire, has resigned herself to an Italian excursion with Yoga. Her from-the-heart plea to Bradford two episodes ago at Mode‘s Black and White Ball made me develop a soft spot for the boozy old hag. After all that fighting (and actually lugging a gun from Montauk), Claire’s really just gonna let Willy win? Despite all her faults (you know, murdering Fey and all), she had me convinced that she cares about her family and simply wants them all to be together. But to qualify all this, I can’t imagine there’s a chance in hell we’ve seen the last of Claire Meade. And I’ll just put this out there, too: While I enjoyed the witty banter between the alcoholic Claire and prepped-out-lesbo Yoga at one point in time, that’s gotta go away before long. How much comedy can the writers really mine from Yoga making jokes about rich white people? And where is their faux-lover relationship really going?
One line of jokes I’m so not over is the web-site names the Ugly Betty writers dream up. Last year it was dudecruise.com, and then earlier this season Betty referenced socuteitssick.com. And this week: bachelorocity.com! I’ve said this over and over before, but on this show, the details are just as important as all the big stuff — I mean, bachelorocity.com! C’mon, it’s funny!
Back in Queens, Justin still had his obviously rebellious thug thing going, an apparent reaction to Santos’ death. Hilda was also still clearly messed up by the murder — at the beginning of the episode, she told Ignacio that it was Thursday, so she was going to the cemetery to do lotto scratchers. ‘Scuse me — lotto scratchers in the cemetery? Was it insensitive for me to laugh at that line? Even though it may be funny, I had to remind myself that a woman was still grieving. And the grieving only got worse (or better, depending on how you look at it) after Hilda brought in what Ignacio termed ”the Golden Girls.” By the end of the episode — before she snapped out of it and kicked the senior citizens out — Hilda was hilariously using her back pain to predict the weather and having half-hour conversations about applesauce. She put dentures in her purse, too! These scenes had me laughing more than anything else this episode. But on the flip side, the reconciliation between Hilda and Justin had me tearing up — it was, without a doubt, the Puffs-worthy moment of the night.
NEXT: Marc’s sweet side
And hey, speaking of The Golden Girls, did you all hear the best Ugly Betty news ever? Betty White — one of the actual Golden Girls — is gonna guest star on the show in an upcoming episode. From what ABC is revealing, she and Willy will go toe-to-toe — but it’s not clear who will win. As much as I love Willy, my money’s on the sassy White!
Finally, the last thing that’s worth delving into is Marc’s budding romance — and an unexpected one at that — with Cliff the paunchy photographer. At first, I thought this was going to be some throwaway story line built just so that Marc and Amanda could have some great one-liners (which, overall, were seriously lacking last night). But I think what they’re doing with this is really beautiful and is also showing a human side of Marc. And props to Cliff for calling Marc out for being a cliché! I mean, his cliché bitchiness is why we love him, but moments like these are the heart of the show. We’ve seen humanizing moments over the last few weeks with Amanda, too, while she’s been searching for her father. As much as I enjoy Marc and Amanda’s vile antics, it’s refreshing to see them as people, too.
A few other things I enjoyed this week: (1) Any scene with John Cho, playing Henry’s douchebag friend-coworker Kenny. He friggin’ pees in the ladies’ room and thinks he’s Perez Hilton? Genius! (2) The fact that when Amanda logged in to message Betty on bachelorocity.com, the three screen names she used were ”ilovetacos,” ”ilovechurros,” and ”ilovetortillas.” Genius! And (3) the scene between Marc and Amanda at the photo shoot. Marc: ”He’s a 9, I’m an 8.” Amanda: ”He’s a 10, you’re a 6.” Marc, again: ”You’re a bitch, I’m a 7.” Genius!!!
All right, a few Betty sound bites before I sign off:
6. Claire, claiming she was about to turn herself in: ”Yoga, I’ve been drinking….I mean, thinking. Actually they’re both right.”
5. Betty, when Christina proposed she use the Web to find a man: ”Internet dating. There are freaks online. Why don’t you just chop me up into pieces yourself, and we can cut out the middleman?”
4. Christina, telling what she wrote down as her five favorite things on bachelorocity.com: ”Sex. Five times!”
3. Willy, just after signing off on layouts that she didn’t even look at: ”First rule in ruining a magazine is stop caring.”
2. Hilda, choosing which T-shirt of Santos’ she’d use for the quilt she was making with her newfound senior-citizen friends: ”Okay, I decided to go with this one. I was gonna use the one that says, ‘Drink till she’s cute,’ but I buried him in it.” (The one she chose said, ”I am that man from Nantucket.”)
1. Cliff, the photographer, to Marc: ”You slapped your own ass too hard. That’s funny.”
So finally, TV Watchers, what Betty thoughts are bubbling around in your brain this week? What’s the story with Christina’s husband? Does Mode have a chance of surviving Willy’s onslaught? What was with that whacked-out preview for next week? I know the Betty producers are planning a musical episode down the line, but seriously, a singing announcer and Wicked? (I know, I know: Yay! Betty and Henry are finally going to Wicked together.) And lastly: Who’s getting murdered?